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5歳女児のママからご相談。

AのあとB、BのあとCと手早くできず、段取りが悪くて。イラッとして怒鳴るか、私がしてしまうかなんです。いいんでしょうか。

>>> まずいです。まず、大きい声や体罰で叱るのは、特別な場合。
危険な行動を禁止するときなど。言わば、伝家の宝刀。頻繁に使っては、ここぞという時に役に立たない。どんな時に使うか、よく考えておきましょう。また、冷静さを失えば、何も伝えることができないと考えてください。叱るときも「小さな声で、ゆっくり」

でも、やさしい表情では伝わりにくいこともありますよ。こちら側のスタンスは表情や態度から伝わります。叱られることは大きなストレスですから、こちらも真摯な気持ちで、基準を変えることなく。コワイ顔は状況次第。基準の変更は事前告知を。

「もう5歳だから~しよう」「守れるね」と約束して、できればほめる。できなければ、何ができるか交渉です。いきなり「5歳なんだからできるでしょ」と怒鳴ると、親の顔色を見る情緒不安定児になるかもしれませんよ。むずかしいけど、がんばってください。

ツイート2010/11/20

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